This weeks discussion was very insightful because my parents got a divorce, and it always seems when you've personally been through something its easier to learn from. Obviously from my last post, I think it shows, that my parents did a pretty good job. They we're married for 32 years, they almost raised all they're kids, all we're married except my brother and I. When my parents got a divorce it was after a big change in their lives we had moved from a small town where we we're established and now we we're in a new place with really no family around. My parents both went through some midlife crisis and their divorce was sadly the outcome of it.
The investing thing of it all is my parents have some of the most strong and stable testimonies of anyone I know, and so that was something I molled around in my brain a bit this week. How can two people with such strong testimonies and conviction for the gospel get divorced. Well its one thing to KNOW something and another to apply it in our daily lives, if that we're the easy part we'd all be perfect. One thing I did discover though is that even though my parents divorced, to this day they still have not condoned it. I think this is huge. My parents knew and still know the choice they made was not the right one. All know that if they tried as hard at their old marriages as they are at their new it would have all worked out.
I was talking to my dad about it one day on the way to a family get together, it was a couple hour drive so we had time to talk. One of my favorite scriptures is the one in first nephi where it says it is better that one man perish than a whole nation dwindle in unbelief. Now this scripture is referring to a bad man dying so that he wouldn't bring others down with him. However a couple years ago in institute our teacher asked us to find types of Christ. Scriptures that we wouldn't think we're talking about Christ but through symbolic glasses we would see that it did. This scripture was shared by a young man and I have never seen it the same. It is better that one man perish, Christ, then a whole nation, world, dwindle in unbelief. Mind Blown right?
Well on this drive I decided to take this scripture at a different angle. Like I said my parents know what they did was not right, and they worry that they're kids will follow in their footsteps. This is the analogy I drew up for my dad and I felt, even though it was just me saying it, that it could have had some truth to it.
I said Dad ok, imagine you and mom are sitting on a bench in heaven before you we're born talking about the increasing divorce rate on the earth. You also we're talking about the seven kids that you both would raise(assuming you know this type of information in heaven) and how all of them would have marriages of their own. As parents do you set out to form a plan of how to teach your children that divorce is not the answer. What if this scripture came into your head. "It is better that one marriage perish than 7 marriages dwindle in unbelief." What if you and mom thought what if they only way to show them that divorce is not the answer is to show them that if divorce is chosen, all the heartache and pain that comes from it.
Even though this is a far fetched idea that wasn't probably planned, the outcome i think well still be the same. All of my siblings me included have seen that divorce is defiantly not the easy way out, that as hard as marriage is, divorce is harder.
Saturday, April 2, 2016
Parenting
This
I found very insightful. The biggest thing I learned was from reading my mom’s
journals. I learned that financial strain does not always have to have a negative
affect on your family. In my case, it is as was put in this recent general conference.
“I did not raise my family on money, I raised them on faith.” I learned that we
all have the strong testimonies we do because my mom taught us with the real
life hardships we had to turn to our father in heaven for help. We learned that
without true sorry you do not know true joy. That means huge things for my
future family. That means that no matter the hardships we endure if I can teach
my family that we go together and seek the Lords help that will be the best
trial ever. I learned from the over all that family is the most important thing
in a child’s life, and with family around, no matter what is happening it will
be okay because you can pull together. Family is where you get some needs met
that isn’t met from parents.
I
learned from my parents opposite parenting tactics that even though the seemed polar
opposites that they often had the same outcome, weather good or bad, and that I
needed to watch for that in my parenting. I learned that my parents actually
did some emotion coaching but they would end it with a spank. I think the spank
for me at the end wasn’t just a mute point but rather more harm than good. So
basically physical punishment is pointless.
I
also think I might have finally found a solution for a fear I’ve had with my
own children and that solution was that they won’t go looking to fulfill their
needs in other unhealthy ways, if you will just sit down and spend quality time
with them. This is something I have been racking my brain trying to figure out
and now that I think I have found the solution, I am going to try my hardest to
remember it. I realized that even though I was raised to value being anxiously
engaged in a good cause that your greatest cause, as a mother is your child.
Even if it is sitting down on the ground playing babies with them, when you
could be making bread for a sick lady in your ward your kids are more
important, for the time you spend with them now will be what truly makes them
into great people later.
Monday, March 21, 2016
Finances
This week we talked about finances and the class discussion became very interesting to me. One girl was talking about how her family went out to eat multiple times in one week to make the move they had just made to a new state more fun. At the end of the week the father sat them all down and told them how much they had spent, and concluded that it could have bought them two tickets to Disney Land. What she said next was what I thought was the most interesting. It taught us the value of how we can either have something good now or save up for something great later.
This theme of saving for something great is seen all though out our lives, with our appetites and passions, with parenting skills with everything. The sooner it is learned, practiced and mastered, the sooner we become masters of our life.
Finances is just one of the ways to teach us how to bridal our passions, and what an effective way it is! Because we see our consequences right away and we know that we can hide from those consequence by going into debt, but they will always come back to haunt us. Another interesting thing on the positive side of finances is that living within our means gives us peace. Peace is not really described as a "rush" but just something that is there. This is the same with life as we bridal our passions we are mostly just given a lasting peace.
This is important for us to learn because its just the fact of life. No bells or whistles no prizes really for being responsible just peace. But I think all of us that posses peace or have and are now missing it know the true value of peace is great.
This theme of saving for something great is seen all though out our lives, with our appetites and passions, with parenting skills with everything. The sooner it is learned, practiced and mastered, the sooner we become masters of our life.
Finances is just one of the ways to teach us how to bridal our passions, and what an effective way it is! Because we see our consequences right away and we know that we can hide from those consequence by going into debt, but they will always come back to haunt us. Another interesting thing on the positive side of finances is that living within our means gives us peace. Peace is not really described as a "rush" but just something that is there. This is the same with life as we bridal our passions we are mostly just given a lasting peace.
This is important for us to learn because its just the fact of life. No bells or whistles no prizes really for being responsible just peace. But I think all of us that posses peace or have and are now missing it know the true value of peace is great.
Thursday, March 10, 2016
"We'll be ok, if we use it."
"We'll be ok if we use it" Was the closing remark to me from my teacher at the end of this weeks discussion. What did he mean by that? Well it was a response to my comment of a scripture that was flipped quote by a lady in the church Relief Society Presidency. The scripture is to much is given much is required. She then flipped it and said; to whom much is required much is given. But we need to use what has been given to us.
So what resources have been given to these families that are asked to be stable in such an unstable world. Many of these we talked about this week. The most important key is creating a stable marriage to build a stable family upon. This can be done through correct communication. Many of these correct communications are taught through the scriptures.
So what resources have been given to these families that are asked to be stable in such an unstable world. Many of these we talked about this week. The most important key is creating a stable marriage to build a stable family upon. This can be done through correct communication. Many of these correct communications are taught through the scriptures.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
.. and you thought you knew so much..
It's funny the more I learn the more I realize the error of my ways. Now I don't think I'm doing things complely wrong but it's been really cool to beable to learn something that I can change in order to have a better marriage.
This week we talked about getting married and adjusting to it. One thing that was discussed was how the actual marriage event effects the marriage. Our teacher basically pointed out that the more MONEY you spend on any of it, the harder it is on your marriage. The ring, the wedding ect. Which when you look at it logically marriage is already hard to start out because money is usually tight, what if you we're already in debt when you started your marriage, well hey at least yuh have a big rock to show off right.
When my husband and I were getting engaged I told him two things. One, I didn't want my ring to scratch my babies, which meant I didn't care if it was small infact I wanted it to be flat as possible. Two, all I really know about the proposal is places aren't special to me people are, so I would love to be proposed to with loved ones close by.
Now coming back to the more MONEY you spend of something. I emphasized money because it was the exact opposite if you said time. The more time and attention the husband spent on the engagement, according to the teacher, reflected the time and effort he would continue to spend towards the marriage.
Now I'm not trying to brag, I don't think really anyone reads this so this is more a journal for me to help me remember and be grateful for the sweet man I married. Before my husband proposed I flew to Arizona to spend sometime with my family for a week. While I was gone he spent a whole week writing a fairytale story and calling my sisters asking for pictures of me when I was little. For the engagement he drove me all the way to Colarado to meet my family, so they would be close when he proposed. This means so much to me because now just on valentines day we were able to take this fairytale book out and read it again.
This week we talked about getting married and adjusting to it. One thing that was discussed was how the actual marriage event effects the marriage. Our teacher basically pointed out that the more MONEY you spend on any of it, the harder it is on your marriage. The ring, the wedding ect. Which when you look at it logically marriage is already hard to start out because money is usually tight, what if you we're already in debt when you started your marriage, well hey at least yuh have a big rock to show off right.
When my husband and I were getting engaged I told him two things. One, I didn't want my ring to scratch my babies, which meant I didn't care if it was small infact I wanted it to be flat as possible. Two, all I really know about the proposal is places aren't special to me people are, so I would love to be proposed to with loved ones close by.
Now coming back to the more MONEY you spend of something. I emphasized money because it was the exact opposite if you said time. The more time and attention the husband spent on the engagement, according to the teacher, reflected the time and effort he would continue to spend towards the marriage.
Now I'm not trying to brag, I don't think really anyone reads this so this is more a journal for me to help me remember and be grateful for the sweet man I married. Before my husband proposed I flew to Arizona to spend sometime with my family for a week. While I was gone he spent a whole week writing a fairytale story and calling my sisters asking for pictures of me when I was little. For the engagement he drove me all the way to Colarado to meet my family, so they would be close when he proposed. This means so much to me because now just on valentines day we were able to take this fairytale book out and read it again.
Thursday, February 18, 2016
A date consists of being Paired Off, Planned, and Paid for.
I found this weeks topic very interesting because our teacher also applied it to a document called the Family Proclamation. The family proclamation, among many things, lists the responsibilities of a husband and wife/ mother and father. The role of a husband and father is to Preside, Provide and Protect. The mothers main role is to nurture.
In discussing a date it was defined that a date is not mearly hanging out with the opposite gender but it is something that must be Paired off, Planned, and paid for. As our teacher discussed research of how dating reflects marriage he tied a correlation that I loved.
Paired Off = Protect
Planned = Preside
Paid for = Provide
These men, through dating are not only being able to practice their roles as a husband and father. But the women get to see how willing he is and the desire level he has to do so.
Now on the responsibility of the women is to nurture. Often times dates are awkward or things just don't go very well, it is my belief that women are to nurture the man on the date. If he's awkward give him a chance, if he didn't do his role on the date, teach him how it makes you feel when he does do things that make you feel protected or cared about.
I think your level of commitment to your individual role is the perfect way to date and find a mate. Some people do not hold these roles and too high of importance on their list, and in turn find a mate who doesn't, in this way they may decide to fulfill things in a different way, the husband may be more of the nurturer while the wife gets great satisfaction from her job. Through dating people can find the one they are most compatible with.
When me and my husband were dating I found that our views of our roles, in following the guidelines of the family proclamation were very aligned. I had never met someone who so desired to fulfill his role. Growing up I have never wanted anything more that to nurture.
However one thing I thought was interesting was that our teacher said how talk is cheap and dating is to show your intentions. So as we dated we were able to see, though action that our desires were more than just words.
There are two events that if you put Jesse and I in separate rooms and asked us each what event was the most important to each of us personally we would be able to tell you.
Jesse's, was when he felt sick and had to stay home from work and I came over and "nurtured" him. Jesse is a very hard worker at school and work, which is the first signs of him being a good provider. So when he called in sick from work it was such a big deal that when his roommates saw him home they said man Jesse you must really be sick. I don't remember what I did but just be there with him, but he remembered it, and I don't think its a coincidence that it happened to be a memory of when I nurtured.
My memory was a Saturday when I had worked hours and hours at work and came home exhausted to a huge homework assignment that I didn't have the slightest idea how to do that was due by twelve. I knew that Jesse had wanted to spend time together all Saturday but I was exhausted and had no makeup on and wasn't planning on putting any on that late at night because I had been having some acne problems. Finally Jesse convinced me to come over, He said there was a couple that had been wanting to watch this movie with us and that he'd have pizza for me and help me with my homework. Well I showed up and he got up sat me down at the counter plugged my computer in and set a warm piece of pizza in-front of me. After I was fed we moved to the couch where he started helping me with my homework. Now helping me is an understatement as I said before I had no idea how to do this assignment. He literally read each question with me, and then found it with me in the book where the answer would be found and read over my shoulder silently and then asked me questions that led me to answer the question on my own and then praised me for my intelligence.
I had come over that night completely vulnerable and he had protected that vulnerability. He had provided food for me and the help I needed. And had basically the definition of the word presided over my homework. That night I looked at him and knew I was in love with him. It was not a feeling of lust or of anything I had experienced, it was a feeling of safety that he would always treat me that way, how can you not love someone like that.
In discussing a date it was defined that a date is not mearly hanging out with the opposite gender but it is something that must be Paired off, Planned, and paid for. As our teacher discussed research of how dating reflects marriage he tied a correlation that I loved.
Paired Off = Protect
Planned = Preside
Paid for = Provide
These men, through dating are not only being able to practice their roles as a husband and father. But the women get to see how willing he is and the desire level he has to do so.
Now on the responsibility of the women is to nurture. Often times dates are awkward or things just don't go very well, it is my belief that women are to nurture the man on the date. If he's awkward give him a chance, if he didn't do his role on the date, teach him how it makes you feel when he does do things that make you feel protected or cared about.
I think your level of commitment to your individual role is the perfect way to date and find a mate. Some people do not hold these roles and too high of importance on their list, and in turn find a mate who doesn't, in this way they may decide to fulfill things in a different way, the husband may be more of the nurturer while the wife gets great satisfaction from her job. Through dating people can find the one they are most compatible with.
When me and my husband were dating I found that our views of our roles, in following the guidelines of the family proclamation were very aligned. I had never met someone who so desired to fulfill his role. Growing up I have never wanted anything more that to nurture.
However one thing I thought was interesting was that our teacher said how talk is cheap and dating is to show your intentions. So as we dated we were able to see, though action that our desires were more than just words.
There are two events that if you put Jesse and I in separate rooms and asked us each what event was the most important to each of us personally we would be able to tell you.
Jesse's, was when he felt sick and had to stay home from work and I came over and "nurtured" him. Jesse is a very hard worker at school and work, which is the first signs of him being a good provider. So when he called in sick from work it was such a big deal that when his roommates saw him home they said man Jesse you must really be sick. I don't remember what I did but just be there with him, but he remembered it, and I don't think its a coincidence that it happened to be a memory of when I nurtured.
My memory was a Saturday when I had worked hours and hours at work and came home exhausted to a huge homework assignment that I didn't have the slightest idea how to do that was due by twelve. I knew that Jesse had wanted to spend time together all Saturday but I was exhausted and had no makeup on and wasn't planning on putting any on that late at night because I had been having some acne problems. Finally Jesse convinced me to come over, He said there was a couple that had been wanting to watch this movie with us and that he'd have pizza for me and help me with my homework. Well I showed up and he got up sat me down at the counter plugged my computer in and set a warm piece of pizza in-front of me. After I was fed we moved to the couch where he started helping me with my homework. Now helping me is an understatement as I said before I had no idea how to do this assignment. He literally read each question with me, and then found it with me in the book where the answer would be found and read over my shoulder silently and then asked me questions that led me to answer the question on my own and then praised me for my intelligence.
I had come over that night completely vulnerable and he had protected that vulnerability. He had provided food for me and the help I needed. And had basically the definition of the word presided over my homework. That night I looked at him and knew I was in love with him. It was not a feeling of lust or of anything I had experienced, it was a feeling of safety that he would always treat me that way, how can you not love someone like that.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Same sex attraction can be avoided.
This week we watched a documentary on a study of about five men, their ages ranging from 18-40's. Each of these men had the desire to be cured of this attraction if it were at all possible, and were told it was by seeing these specialists. Throughout the study the men talked about their childhood. Almost all of the aspects that research shows causes same sex attraction was found in their childhood. These are a few of them. Not being excepted by other males socially. Not having a good relationship with the father. Being molested. Lack of affection.
Through there counseling with the specialist they we're able to work through their same sex attraction and were able to start feeling attracted to other females. At the end of this article it talks about how the gay community wanted to make these types of therapies illegal, claiming that it brought on more depression because it was labeled as a disfunction rather that who they were. I thought it was interesting however when one of the men in the study said that he had just been in a relationship with a girl that had ended and though he felt sad about the brake up and missed her, the feelings of sadness never came close to the depression he felt when he was having same sex attraction and not knowing their was help.
What I found most intriguing was the hope I felt as I learned about this study. Sometimes these things going on in the world feel completely out of our control or that we have no influence over them. Especially when the gay communities say things like they we're born this way or this is just who they are. As I learned that kids want so badly to be excepted by their peers, and when their not they feel a lack of affection, and eventually go looking for it in the wrong ways.
This made me determined to teach my kids the importance of loving everyone, and including everyone. Because if everyone can just feel loved and cared about then so many of our problems would be gone. Charity Never Faileth!~Moroni 7:47
Through there counseling with the specialist they we're able to work through their same sex attraction and were able to start feeling attracted to other females. At the end of this article it talks about how the gay community wanted to make these types of therapies illegal, claiming that it brought on more depression because it was labeled as a disfunction rather that who they were. I thought it was interesting however when one of the men in the study said that he had just been in a relationship with a girl that had ended and though he felt sad about the brake up and missed her, the feelings of sadness never came close to the depression he felt when he was having same sex attraction and not knowing their was help.
What I found most intriguing was the hope I felt as I learned about this study. Sometimes these things going on in the world feel completely out of our control or that we have no influence over them. Especially when the gay communities say things like they we're born this way or this is just who they are. As I learned that kids want so badly to be excepted by their peers, and when their not they feel a lack of affection, and eventually go looking for it in the wrong ways.
This made me determined to teach my kids the importance of loving everyone, and including everyone. Because if everyone can just feel loved and cared about then so many of our problems would be gone. Charity Never Faileth!~Moroni 7:47
Monday, February 1, 2016
This week we learned about the strain and struggle immigration puts on families. I think my eyes and heart we're opened more than they ever have as we did a mock trial of what it would have been like on each member of these families. I have so much more admiration for these families now especially because many actually stay intact despite the complete hardships the family goes through.
So why would these families put their family through such a strain just to come to the US something that must of us take complete entitlement of. Many of these families we're very well off, the father had a high education and a good solid job, but decided to leave all of this so their posterity would have an even better future.
I was reminded of the sacrifice my pioneer ancestors made for me, their posterity, so I could have a better life in the gospel of Jesus Christ. They also left good solid lives, so I could have a better. The most amazing thing though was I never thought of what a strain that must have been in a family dynamic way, of course there is the strain of crossing the plains, but once one starts to research on the emotional strain this puts on families, it opens up a whole other can of worms.
These moves brought to mind a much smaller scale move that my family went through, that although the move was not everything it had an impact. I am the youngest of a large family so sadly most of my facts are hear say, as in I wasn't old enough to have really understood what was going on, but thankfully I have a family that is very open about our struggles and why they may have happened.
So a very huge thing in families is family dynamic and family roles. I was born and grew up for ten years in Snowflake. During this time there was lots of financial hardships on my family, which for any family causes stress and tension mostly on the parents. Well I have an older sister Heidi who even though she was number 5 in our family kind of became the middle child because my parents had my four older sister super close together and then got tired and started spacing us last three four years apart. So Heidi became not old enough to hang out with the four older sisters and just old enough to be the built in babysitter for us two youngest kids. This kept her home a lot. And when your home a lot you become aware of the way things are handled in the house. Because of the financial strain, and her frequent presence, Heidi was there for a lot of the discussions between my parents. Now heres a pretty blunt judgement. Our family can TALK but can we communicate? Both of my parents can talk for days, but it became Heidi's role to be the communicator. Dad would say something and Heidi would explain it to mom and vis versa. Until the year 2000 when Heidi graduated high school. I'm not sure why but the family decided to move to the valley. And Heidi moved away to college. I remember the morning she left, she came to say by to me while I was still asleep, and she was in tears, saying something about feeling so bad leaving David and I on are very first day of school with all our clothes in boxes. She felt a great deal of responciblity for us, her role had become one of the parents.. or both.. the in-between parent that even helped my parents. A couple years late my parents divorced. Now this may be a serious crime of hasty generalization that I have just committed. But i only do so to shed some light on how much affect family dynamic and roles have on a family.
So why would these families put their family through such a strain just to come to the US something that must of us take complete entitlement of. Many of these families we're very well off, the father had a high education and a good solid job, but decided to leave all of this so their posterity would have an even better future.
I was reminded of the sacrifice my pioneer ancestors made for me, their posterity, so I could have a better life in the gospel of Jesus Christ. They also left good solid lives, so I could have a better. The most amazing thing though was I never thought of what a strain that must have been in a family dynamic way, of course there is the strain of crossing the plains, but once one starts to research on the emotional strain this puts on families, it opens up a whole other can of worms.
These moves brought to mind a much smaller scale move that my family went through, that although the move was not everything it had an impact. I am the youngest of a large family so sadly most of my facts are hear say, as in I wasn't old enough to have really understood what was going on, but thankfully I have a family that is very open about our struggles and why they may have happened.
So a very huge thing in families is family dynamic and family roles. I was born and grew up for ten years in Snowflake. During this time there was lots of financial hardships on my family, which for any family causes stress and tension mostly on the parents. Well I have an older sister Heidi who even though she was number 5 in our family kind of became the middle child because my parents had my four older sister super close together and then got tired and started spacing us last three four years apart. So Heidi became not old enough to hang out with the four older sisters and just old enough to be the built in babysitter for us two youngest kids. This kept her home a lot. And when your home a lot you become aware of the way things are handled in the house. Because of the financial strain, and her frequent presence, Heidi was there for a lot of the discussions between my parents. Now heres a pretty blunt judgement. Our family can TALK but can we communicate? Both of my parents can talk for days, but it became Heidi's role to be the communicator. Dad would say something and Heidi would explain it to mom and vis versa. Until the year 2000 when Heidi graduated high school. I'm not sure why but the family decided to move to the valley. And Heidi moved away to college. I remember the morning she left, she came to say by to me while I was still asleep, and she was in tears, saying something about feeling so bad leaving David and I on are very first day of school with all our clothes in boxes. She felt a great deal of responciblity for us, her role had become one of the parents.. or both.. the in-between parent that even helped my parents. A couple years late my parents divorced. Now this may be a serious crime of hasty generalization that I have just committed. But i only do so to shed some light on how much affect family dynamic and roles have on a family.
Monday, January 25, 2016
Something we learned this week was about genograms. A genogram is kinda like a family history pedigree on steroids, the steroids coming in, in the form of details about almost every person in your extended family from you to your great grandparents. It was super interesting because our teacher taught us about his own genorgram. In his he told us patterns he started seeing starting at his great grandparents on down and by the time he got to him he realized that the same tendency was in him!
So I did a quick one of just my grandparents and parents and saw how some of their tendency came out in me but in more of a mix. For example this was how quick it was, this may not be accurate seeing as I have just done this off of rumor has it.. this is how they are.
SO..
Grandpa Romney Grandma Romney Grandpa Farnsworth Grandma Farnsworth
(Submissive) (In Command) (In Command) (Submissive)
Mom Dad
(Both at different times) (In command)
Again just quick assumptions but will take time to listen to your
More in a PLEASE take this herb it will help you opinion and take it into account.
Not in a bad way, in a good way.
Me(Alone)
In command
Me (with Spouse)
More submissive.
Now really, now that I am married it's the most healthy relationship I have ever been in, and so I see my self acting differently then in previous relationships, and i think its because there is more equality happening. However I do remember in high school an interesting fact. Everytime I was single I was happy with my self and taking charge of my life. But right when I would get a boyfriend I would all the sudden fill in this submissive almost younger role, and I often was even older. This is something that I find interesting that makes me want to explore how them women in my family we're when They we're single.
So I did a quick one of just my grandparents and parents and saw how some of their tendency came out in me but in more of a mix. For example this was how quick it was, this may not be accurate seeing as I have just done this off of rumor has it.. this is how they are.
SO..
Grandpa Romney Grandma Romney Grandpa Farnsworth Grandma Farnsworth
(Submissive) (In Command) (In Command) (Submissive)
Mom Dad
(Both at different times) (In command)
Again just quick assumptions but will take time to listen to your
More in a PLEASE take this herb it will help you opinion and take it into account.
Not in a bad way, in a good way.
Me(Alone)
In command
Me (with Spouse)
More submissive.
Now really, now that I am married it's the most healthy relationship I have ever been in, and so I see my self acting differently then in previous relationships, and i think its because there is more equality happening. However I do remember in high school an interesting fact. Everytime I was single I was happy with my self and taking charge of my life. But right when I would get a boyfriend I would all the sudden fill in this submissive almost younger role, and I often was even older. This is something that I find interesting that makes me want to explore how them women in my family we're when They we're single.
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
The importance of having a mother at home.
I know what you are probably all thinking, she's gonna write about mothers working out of the home and the effects it has on children.. well you may be right but first I wanna touch on something we talked about in class that is a perspective that I don't know if any of us has ever considered.
"Turn to your neighbor and discuss how you would feel if the government pointed a danger in population lows and mandated that women by law must have a child and by the time your child was two years old you had to give the child to the government to be raised because they needed the adults out in the work force supporting the elderly."
This week we looked at what used to be a scare of over population, the new findings is that we are in fact going in the opposite direction and after the population peeks it will start to decline. What this means is that what now is 3 people in the work force supporting one retiree will be 1 person having to support 3 retiree's. Which explains why the government would need you to continue having kids but they couldn't have you afford to raise them. Now this last part about the children is just a what if, something our teacher said to get us to think, well it did, and here are my thoughts.
If this case we're to happen, the government would basically be paying sergeant mothers... this is something that I could never be paid for, and right now it is for selfish reasons. I am in my first trimester of pregnancy, this means I'm pretty much on the verge of throwing up.. all the time. Not fun. Do you know the council I've been given by mothers that have gone before me and got through this stage? "Once you get to hold that baby in your arms it will all be worth." I don't think these mothers we're talking about just one year of their lives and then giving them up. Ok we all know that no body wants this, so I will just end by sharing my gratitude of the way my mom raised me. The way she raised me was being there. I think back to my childhood and the most important things I remember about my mom wasn't that she made breakfast for me every single morning or that she tried to give me opportunites to develop my talents by taking me to dance lessons or falling asleep to the sound of her doing dishes at night; the overarching memory of my mom was the feeling of her being there. Sometimes I'd go hours without even talking to her BUT I FELT HER PRESENCE, this is something that you can only know the importance of if you've felt it. Having my mom THERE meant for me that if I needed to talk I could, if I needed to cry I could, If I needed help she would be there. All of these things become harder and harder for kids to humble themselves and do the older they get, but when that rare occurrence happens, will the mom be there to witness it, or will the opportunity fall to naught because the mom isn't home.
Disclaimer: I believe all mom's deepest desire is to stay home with their kids, and sometimes it is just not possible, and the extra attention these moms strive to give to make up for their absence is amazing. This article is about the ideal pattern. Elder Holland gives an analogy with this, he says his mom used to make him shirts instead of buying them, and instead of using an old shirt she had made by hand as a pattern she always started with a store pattern, because she knew it was the closest to perfection, and if she used her own made up patterns each mistake would become more extreme. So many people are trying to be politically correct now days that we never hear what is actually correct. As a people we are fallen. What I hope to do on this blog is fantasize about the life we could have as we strive to reach for the stars.
"Turn to your neighbor and discuss how you would feel if the government pointed a danger in population lows and mandated that women by law must have a child and by the time your child was two years old you had to give the child to the government to be raised because they needed the adults out in the work force supporting the elderly."
This week we looked at what used to be a scare of over population, the new findings is that we are in fact going in the opposite direction and after the population peeks it will start to decline. What this means is that what now is 3 people in the work force supporting one retiree will be 1 person having to support 3 retiree's. Which explains why the government would need you to continue having kids but they couldn't have you afford to raise them. Now this last part about the children is just a what if, something our teacher said to get us to think, well it did, and here are my thoughts.
If this case we're to happen, the government would basically be paying sergeant mothers... this is something that I could never be paid for, and right now it is for selfish reasons. I am in my first trimester of pregnancy, this means I'm pretty much on the verge of throwing up.. all the time. Not fun. Do you know the council I've been given by mothers that have gone before me and got through this stage? "Once you get to hold that baby in your arms it will all be worth." I don't think these mothers we're talking about just one year of their lives and then giving them up. Ok we all know that no body wants this, so I will just end by sharing my gratitude of the way my mom raised me. The way she raised me was being there. I think back to my childhood and the most important things I remember about my mom wasn't that she made breakfast for me every single morning or that she tried to give me opportunites to develop my talents by taking me to dance lessons or falling asleep to the sound of her doing dishes at night; the overarching memory of my mom was the feeling of her being there. Sometimes I'd go hours without even talking to her BUT I FELT HER PRESENCE, this is something that you can only know the importance of if you've felt it. Having my mom THERE meant for me that if I needed to talk I could, if I needed to cry I could, If I needed help she would be there. All of these things become harder and harder for kids to humble themselves and do the older they get, but when that rare occurrence happens, will the mom be there to witness it, or will the opportunity fall to naught because the mom isn't home.
Disclaimer: I believe all mom's deepest desire is to stay home with their kids, and sometimes it is just not possible, and the extra attention these moms strive to give to make up for their absence is amazing. This article is about the ideal pattern. Elder Holland gives an analogy with this, he says his mom used to make him shirts instead of buying them, and instead of using an old shirt she had made by hand as a pattern she always started with a store pattern, because she knew it was the closest to perfection, and if she used her own made up patterns each mistake would become more extreme. So many people are trying to be politically correct now days that we never hear what is actually correct. As a people we are fallen. What I hope to do on this blog is fantasize about the life we could have as we strive to reach for the stars.
Saturday, January 9, 2016
A little bit about me.
Hi :)
My name is Kristi. I am the youngest of 7 siblings, 6 girls one boy. I am the aunt of 23. I was just recently married to a man that I'm still trying to figure out how it is fair to be married to such a wonderful man. He is also comes from a family of 7 siblings, 6 girls and he's the one boy, maybe that's what makes him so sweet.
My family is everything to me and I love them very much. They bring happiness, peace, comfort, and laughter to my life. I'm blessed with 4 parents 2 biological and two "steps". My parents got a divorce when I was 14 after being marriage for 32 years, no reason.. just tired I guess. My Dad married Robin and she is great at deep long dinner table conversations about boys. My Dad is an entrepreneur/state senator for Arizona's Apache Junction. My mom married My Doug Doug, I don't like calling him step dad cause he's so much more than that. He is perfectly described in the country song "The Dad he didn't have to be, by Brad Paisley. He is so kind and patient with my mom who is the most angelic person you will ever meet.
My name is Kristi. I am the youngest of 7 siblings, 6 girls one boy. I am the aunt of 23. I was just recently married to a man that I'm still trying to figure out how it is fair to be married to such a wonderful man. He is also comes from a family of 7 siblings, 6 girls and he's the one boy, maybe that's what makes him so sweet.
My family is everything to me and I love them very much. They bring happiness, peace, comfort, and laughter to my life. I'm blessed with 4 parents 2 biological and two "steps". My parents got a divorce when I was 14 after being marriage for 32 years, no reason.. just tired I guess. My Dad married Robin and she is great at deep long dinner table conversations about boys. My Dad is an entrepreneur/state senator for Arizona's Apache Junction. My mom married My Doug Doug, I don't like calling him step dad cause he's so much more than that. He is perfectly described in the country song "The Dad he didn't have to be, by Brad Paisley. He is so kind and patient with my mom who is the most angelic person you will ever meet.
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