This week we learned about the strain and struggle immigration puts on families. I think my eyes and heart we're opened more than they ever have as we did a mock trial of what it would have been like on each member of these families. I have so much more admiration for these families now especially because many actually stay intact despite the complete hardships the family goes through.
So why would these families put their family through such a strain just to come to the US something that must of us take complete entitlement of. Many of these families we're very well off, the father had a high education and a good solid job, but decided to leave all of this so their posterity would have an even better future.
I was reminded of the sacrifice my pioneer ancestors made for me, their posterity, so I could have a better life in the gospel of Jesus Christ. They also left good solid lives, so I could have a better. The most amazing thing though was I never thought of what a strain that must have been in a family dynamic way, of course there is the strain of crossing the plains, but once one starts to research on the emotional strain this puts on families, it opens up a whole other can of worms.
These moves brought to mind a much smaller scale move that my family went through, that although the move was not everything it had an impact. I am the youngest of a large family so sadly most of my facts are hear say, as in I wasn't old enough to have really understood what was going on, but thankfully I have a family that is very open about our struggles and why they may have happened.
So a very huge thing in families is family dynamic and family roles. I was born and grew up for ten years in Snowflake. During this time there was lots of financial hardships on my family, which for any family causes stress and tension mostly on the parents. Well I have an older sister Heidi who even though she was number 5 in our family kind of became the middle child because my parents had my four older sister super close together and then got tired and started spacing us last three four years apart. So Heidi became not old enough to hang out with the four older sisters and just old enough to be the built in babysitter for us two youngest kids. This kept her home a lot. And when your home a lot you become aware of the way things are handled in the house. Because of the financial strain, and her frequent presence, Heidi was there for a lot of the discussions between my parents. Now heres a pretty blunt judgement. Our family can TALK but can we communicate? Both of my parents can talk for days, but it became Heidi's role to be the communicator. Dad would say something and Heidi would explain it to mom and vis versa. Until the year 2000 when Heidi graduated high school. I'm not sure why but the family decided to move to the valley. And Heidi moved away to college. I remember the morning she left, she came to say by to me while I was still asleep, and she was in tears, saying something about feeling so bad leaving David and I on are very first day of school with all our clothes in boxes. She felt a great deal of responciblity for us, her role had become one of the parents.. or both.. the in-between parent that even helped my parents. A couple years late my parents divorced. Now this may be a serious crime of hasty generalization that I have just committed. But i only do so to shed some light on how much affect family dynamic and roles have on a family.
Monday, February 1, 2016
Monday, January 25, 2016
Something we learned this week was about genograms. A genogram is kinda like a family history pedigree on steroids, the steroids coming in, in the form of details about almost every person in your extended family from you to your great grandparents. It was super interesting because our teacher taught us about his own genorgram. In his he told us patterns he started seeing starting at his great grandparents on down and by the time he got to him he realized that the same tendency was in him!
So I did a quick one of just my grandparents and parents and saw how some of their tendency came out in me but in more of a mix. For example this was how quick it was, this may not be accurate seeing as I have just done this off of rumor has it.. this is how they are.
SO..
Grandpa Romney Grandma Romney Grandpa Farnsworth Grandma Farnsworth
(Submissive) (In Command) (In Command) (Submissive)
Mom Dad
(Both at different times) (In command)
Again just quick assumptions but will take time to listen to your
More in a PLEASE take this herb it will help you opinion and take it into account.
Not in a bad way, in a good way.
Me(Alone)
In command
Me (with Spouse)
More submissive.
Now really, now that I am married it's the most healthy relationship I have ever been in, and so I see my self acting differently then in previous relationships, and i think its because there is more equality happening. However I do remember in high school an interesting fact. Everytime I was single I was happy with my self and taking charge of my life. But right when I would get a boyfriend I would all the sudden fill in this submissive almost younger role, and I often was even older. This is something that I find interesting that makes me want to explore how them women in my family we're when They we're single.
So I did a quick one of just my grandparents and parents and saw how some of their tendency came out in me but in more of a mix. For example this was how quick it was, this may not be accurate seeing as I have just done this off of rumor has it.. this is how they are.
SO..
Grandpa Romney Grandma Romney Grandpa Farnsworth Grandma Farnsworth
(Submissive) (In Command) (In Command) (Submissive)
Mom Dad
(Both at different times) (In command)
Again just quick assumptions but will take time to listen to your
More in a PLEASE take this herb it will help you opinion and take it into account.
Not in a bad way, in a good way.
Me(Alone)
In command
Me (with Spouse)
More submissive.
Now really, now that I am married it's the most healthy relationship I have ever been in, and so I see my self acting differently then in previous relationships, and i think its because there is more equality happening. However I do remember in high school an interesting fact. Everytime I was single I was happy with my self and taking charge of my life. But right when I would get a boyfriend I would all the sudden fill in this submissive almost younger role, and I often was even older. This is something that I find interesting that makes me want to explore how them women in my family we're when They we're single.
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
The importance of having a mother at home.
I know what you are probably all thinking, she's gonna write about mothers working out of the home and the effects it has on children.. well you may be right but first I wanna touch on something we talked about in class that is a perspective that I don't know if any of us has ever considered.
"Turn to your neighbor and discuss how you would feel if the government pointed a danger in population lows and mandated that women by law must have a child and by the time your child was two years old you had to give the child to the government to be raised because they needed the adults out in the work force supporting the elderly."
This week we looked at what used to be a scare of over population, the new findings is that we are in fact going in the opposite direction and after the population peeks it will start to decline. What this means is that what now is 3 people in the work force supporting one retiree will be 1 person having to support 3 retiree's. Which explains why the government would need you to continue having kids but they couldn't have you afford to raise them. Now this last part about the children is just a what if, something our teacher said to get us to think, well it did, and here are my thoughts.
If this case we're to happen, the government would basically be paying sergeant mothers... this is something that I could never be paid for, and right now it is for selfish reasons. I am in my first trimester of pregnancy, this means I'm pretty much on the verge of throwing up.. all the time. Not fun. Do you know the council I've been given by mothers that have gone before me and got through this stage? "Once you get to hold that baby in your arms it will all be worth." I don't think these mothers we're talking about just one year of their lives and then giving them up. Ok we all know that no body wants this, so I will just end by sharing my gratitude of the way my mom raised me. The way she raised me was being there. I think back to my childhood and the most important things I remember about my mom wasn't that she made breakfast for me every single morning or that she tried to give me opportunites to develop my talents by taking me to dance lessons or falling asleep to the sound of her doing dishes at night; the overarching memory of my mom was the feeling of her being there. Sometimes I'd go hours without even talking to her BUT I FELT HER PRESENCE, this is something that you can only know the importance of if you've felt it. Having my mom THERE meant for me that if I needed to talk I could, if I needed to cry I could, If I needed help she would be there. All of these things become harder and harder for kids to humble themselves and do the older they get, but when that rare occurrence happens, will the mom be there to witness it, or will the opportunity fall to naught because the mom isn't home.
Disclaimer: I believe all mom's deepest desire is to stay home with their kids, and sometimes it is just not possible, and the extra attention these moms strive to give to make up for their absence is amazing. This article is about the ideal pattern. Elder Holland gives an analogy with this, he says his mom used to make him shirts instead of buying them, and instead of using an old shirt she had made by hand as a pattern she always started with a store pattern, because she knew it was the closest to perfection, and if she used her own made up patterns each mistake would become more extreme. So many people are trying to be politically correct now days that we never hear what is actually correct. As a people we are fallen. What I hope to do on this blog is fantasize about the life we could have as we strive to reach for the stars.
"Turn to your neighbor and discuss how you would feel if the government pointed a danger in population lows and mandated that women by law must have a child and by the time your child was two years old you had to give the child to the government to be raised because they needed the adults out in the work force supporting the elderly."
This week we looked at what used to be a scare of over population, the new findings is that we are in fact going in the opposite direction and after the population peeks it will start to decline. What this means is that what now is 3 people in the work force supporting one retiree will be 1 person having to support 3 retiree's. Which explains why the government would need you to continue having kids but they couldn't have you afford to raise them. Now this last part about the children is just a what if, something our teacher said to get us to think, well it did, and here are my thoughts.
If this case we're to happen, the government would basically be paying sergeant mothers... this is something that I could never be paid for, and right now it is for selfish reasons. I am in my first trimester of pregnancy, this means I'm pretty much on the verge of throwing up.. all the time. Not fun. Do you know the council I've been given by mothers that have gone before me and got through this stage? "Once you get to hold that baby in your arms it will all be worth." I don't think these mothers we're talking about just one year of their lives and then giving them up. Ok we all know that no body wants this, so I will just end by sharing my gratitude of the way my mom raised me. The way she raised me was being there. I think back to my childhood and the most important things I remember about my mom wasn't that she made breakfast for me every single morning or that she tried to give me opportunites to develop my talents by taking me to dance lessons or falling asleep to the sound of her doing dishes at night; the overarching memory of my mom was the feeling of her being there. Sometimes I'd go hours without even talking to her BUT I FELT HER PRESENCE, this is something that you can only know the importance of if you've felt it. Having my mom THERE meant for me that if I needed to talk I could, if I needed to cry I could, If I needed help she would be there. All of these things become harder and harder for kids to humble themselves and do the older they get, but when that rare occurrence happens, will the mom be there to witness it, or will the opportunity fall to naught because the mom isn't home.
Disclaimer: I believe all mom's deepest desire is to stay home with their kids, and sometimes it is just not possible, and the extra attention these moms strive to give to make up for their absence is amazing. This article is about the ideal pattern. Elder Holland gives an analogy with this, he says his mom used to make him shirts instead of buying them, and instead of using an old shirt she had made by hand as a pattern she always started with a store pattern, because she knew it was the closest to perfection, and if she used her own made up patterns each mistake would become more extreme. So many people are trying to be politically correct now days that we never hear what is actually correct. As a people we are fallen. What I hope to do on this blog is fantasize about the life we could have as we strive to reach for the stars.
Saturday, January 9, 2016
A little bit about me.
Hi :)
My name is Kristi. I am the youngest of 7 siblings, 6 girls one boy. I am the aunt of 23. I was just recently married to a man that I'm still trying to figure out how it is fair to be married to such a wonderful man. He is also comes from a family of 7 siblings, 6 girls and he's the one boy, maybe that's what makes him so sweet.
My family is everything to me and I love them very much. They bring happiness, peace, comfort, and laughter to my life. I'm blessed with 4 parents 2 biological and two "steps". My parents got a divorce when I was 14 after being marriage for 32 years, no reason.. just tired I guess. My Dad married Robin and she is great at deep long dinner table conversations about boys. My Dad is an entrepreneur/state senator for Arizona's Apache Junction. My mom married My Doug Doug, I don't like calling him step dad cause he's so much more than that. He is perfectly described in the country song "The Dad he didn't have to be, by Brad Paisley. He is so kind and patient with my mom who is the most angelic person you will ever meet.
My name is Kristi. I am the youngest of 7 siblings, 6 girls one boy. I am the aunt of 23. I was just recently married to a man that I'm still trying to figure out how it is fair to be married to such a wonderful man. He is also comes from a family of 7 siblings, 6 girls and he's the one boy, maybe that's what makes him so sweet.
My family is everything to me and I love them very much. They bring happiness, peace, comfort, and laughter to my life. I'm blessed with 4 parents 2 biological and two "steps". My parents got a divorce when I was 14 after being marriage for 32 years, no reason.. just tired I guess. My Dad married Robin and she is great at deep long dinner table conversations about boys. My Dad is an entrepreneur/state senator for Arizona's Apache Junction. My mom married My Doug Doug, I don't like calling him step dad cause he's so much more than that. He is perfectly described in the country song "The Dad he didn't have to be, by Brad Paisley. He is so kind and patient with my mom who is the most angelic person you will ever meet.
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